Friday, November 16, 2007

LizawithaZeenotLisawithanEsscuzLizawithaZeegoeszznotsss

Crap. Frickin' crappers. Goddamnfuckingshit! Liza Minnelli rocks! I have never...and there was...and then she...but no one...but then why would...and then she...but even better was...Wow. Fuck. I WISH I was that amazing now, let alone at 61, after several new body parts and rehab trips and exes and diseases...
The 'rents took the "kids" to see Liza tonight. And my dear god, well, yours actually, she was amazing. A-ma-zing! There is no delight as pure as seeing someone who you have grown up loving, LIVE and fan-fucking-tastic. Or, perhaps more accurately for Liza, fabu-fucking-lous. She sang, she belted, she even danced a little. She told a few stories, and even a joke. And we ate it with giant, Claim-jumper sized spoons. The audience was in love with her, and she claimed that we were all part of her family. And fuck that, I am usin it. I accept her invite. I will be Liza's niece.
My only issue was that some fans, or so-called fans, in the audience called out to her, asking her to sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow".
Now, any REAL fan knows that Liza does not sing songs that were made famous by other people. Not ever. Let's face it, she is frickin' Liza Minnelli, she doesn't need to. But, moreover, she doubleplus NEVER sings that particular song. And, you, so-called fans, should know that, or shut the hell up. You flustered Liza and she hates you. And you are stupid looking.
If you EVER get the chance, see Liza. Maybe she will let you into her family too.

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