Migras

I had my medical tests for the immigration thingy yesterday. It seemed to go okay, except my tetnaus shot needed updating so my bicep hurts today *mutters stupidintermuscularinjection*. But I don't actually know if I am ok or not. I had to fill out this really mean, ego crushing form before it all started. I am prone to comic hyperbole, but this form really was harsh. It stated that the doctor worked for the US immigration and was not going to provide any information to me, the doctor had no relationship to me except that which the government assigned, and that their only responsibility towards me was not to cause me "any untoward harm". Ouch. I wasn't expecting a heartfelt hug or a coffee date, but jesus.
As it turns out, the doctor was very nice. And she felt me up. No relationship my eye. Where I come from that means we are engaged.

The Oma moment of the Week

I have decided to post an Oma story every week as she seems to be quite popular *heehee*. This week's fantastical tale of wonderment is...She was engaged to a Jewish Football player and dated a night club owner.
I will let that soak for a moment. Oma, who still uses "colourful" phrases like: coon, woppy, and "it must be the jew in her" (referring to alcoholism, and I must say, if you are GOING to be a horrible racist, at least get your stereotypes right), dated a Jewish guy. Who was so Jewish, the RABBI came to her house to talk to her mother. Wait. I have misspoken. Not just dated. They were engaged. Till he cheated on her. And I really think that happened. Also, please sign up to visit the unicorn in our backyard.
And the nightclub owner. Who owned a nightclub in Florida or Boulder, she can't recall (they are so very close after all) and WINTERED IN WINNIPEG. Let me explain that to anyone who has never been to Winnipeg. Polar bears wear coats in the winter. Cars freeze. Like, the gas in cars freeze. Really. And you have to DIG YOURSELF OUT OF YOUR HOUSE! Who the hell in their right mind would WINTER there!? Oh wait. Figments always act against commonlaw. I forgot.
Oma, combining perception and facts and just a hair of crazy to form a bold new reality, since 1928.

The. Worst. Thing. That. Ever. Happened. Ever.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.suntimes.com/output/entertainment/cst-ftr-star28.html

Karma, I hope

I am a bad person. I really really want Karma to shit on a few people for me. At this moment, mostly just one person. And it makes me a bad person. But I don't care. I am, in this moment, really looking forward to a vengeful, act of bibical proportions...and it has NOTHING to do with PMS, at all. No, really. It's not.

Luxury

Okay, so, like, this like totally awesome thing happened...
My super-cool fabulous friend Olive (http://oliveme.blogspot.com/) came up to visit my sorry ass while her super-cool fabulous husband (http://www.speakeasy.org/~cmowrer/blogs/eggs/default.htm) was sent to Hell's Armpit for a few days...
In researching hotels (so that the overwhelming Oma stench didn't infect Olives clothes and spirit), I discovered the coolest website. Ever. www.hotwire.com It rules. You name your city and it gives you a bunch of start rating hotel options in different areas of the city you are going to visit. In this case, a 5 star hotel came up, for only $130 a night!!!!! So, of course, we went there.
It was amazing. Really. Truly. Amazing. And I am jaded about hotels. This was very very good. We ordered room service...it came on a TABLE, with orchids in a bud vase, dijon mustard, olive bread, hand carved butter...yummy...soo good...soo fancy...
Please to enjoy Hotwire if you have any travel plans...say up north? Or down 3 hours south (gimme a few months)
Mmmm luxury

Nightmare fuel

http://www.richard-seaman.com/Insects/Vietnam/Spiders/Highlights/index.html

The Same

Still here...paperwerk sucks...