Friday, October 27, 2006

Not a monopoly but...

So, our old t.v. is living in our bedroom until it moves back to Canada but it isn't hooked up for any kind of cable other than what comes out of the magic tv cord in the wall. On Thursday Mr. B was working from home and I went into the bedroom to wrangle some laundry and I turned it on. Fearing the EIGHT christian channels that I bumped into on random tv search, I turned to the T.VGuide channel...And it wasn't there. Just a message saying "The T.VGuide channel has been purchased by Comcast Digital. Please call Comcast to sign up for this great service." Evil.
Well...I guess it IS free enterprise...evil...but free enterprise.

Monday, October 23, 2006

A depressing thought.

Last night, Mr. B and i were driving home and past the ol' Pier...I saw the Crimble decorations and actually got a little nostalgic. I actually missed opening all those little tiny boxes and seeing all the Crimble coming out. And I didn't get to have shite coffee at 2 AM, rushing to finish putting the decorations out, decorating trees and having glitter fights. And then drive home, exhausted, and wait to hear a million people complain the next day that "it just gets earlier and earlier every year doesn't it?" when it really doesn't and the only reason it's out now is because people buy it and if they didn't, it wouldn't be out so stop complaining.
Wait...nostalgia just past.

Friday, October 20, 2006

The home of the brave

Okay, I love living here. I really do. But there are certain things that I miss about my nation...that is, however, another post, this post is about something terrifying I saw on tv last night that could only happen here, in the US.
KFC now offers a feed bowl. The bottom layer is mashed potatoes, followed by corn ?!, and chicken fried gristle, and gravy and cheese. And cheese. Gravy and cheese on your cornpotatoechicken.
Oh man, thank god. I didn't have enough time for plates, with all those seperate food areas. Thank you KFC for packaging hog slop.
Mmmgood.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Tales from the Oma side

Oma is german for grandmother. My grandmother is not german (at least not since the 1800's). We call her Oma because she worked with a lady name Ursala, who was german, and her grandkids called her that and Oma liked the sound of it.
As it turns out Ursala's dad was Hitler's assistant. That's right. Hitler. Not Fred Hitler, tailor, but actual, real Adolf "Doesn't Play Well with Others" Hitler. And when Ursala's dad (not sure if he was Himmler or Goebbels) got cancer, he took a Fuerer approved draft of pearl and mushroom juice. And, of course, being made from pearls and mushrooms, it cost $10,000. Per draft. And the guy died. Broke. From heart disease.
I wonder what colour the sky is in Oma's world.

Crack

Lifetime is crack for people with my shite movie/tv addiction. I am watching Meredith Baxter-Birney in shiny tights doing aerobics and binging and purging. They are sooo earnest. And Ed Asner is awesome as the doctor who saves a life AND a marriage.
I LOVE IT.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

ANGIE DAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGIE! Your name is Angie and you are nice. You are short and your hair is funky. You like monkeys and orange. You make cakes and you like make-up. You worked for Betsey Johnson and you like fall. You drink Diet Rite and you draw olives. You read cool books and you like the internet.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Race relations. Circa: Soooo long ago

I have a very deep affection for gut wrenchingly bad movies and tv shows. And I just indulged that fetish to an alarming degree. I just watched the classic 1979 race busting gang flick, "Walk Proud" starring, well, starring is a strong word, and lets face it, these people were never heard from again.
A young Chicano gangbanger falls in love with...Sarah, the daughter of a yachting periadonist (White, party of 2) and decides to leave his gang...Los Aztecas. But I am getting ahead of myself. He wooed her with his ability to push vehicles out of the road and his plaid shirt and use of the word machismo. He talks about his gang pride to his friends and lies to her and the angry black cop who is always busting the AZTECAS balls. But then, he has to go to Mexico for a funeral and learns a heartbreaking secret. Turns out, his long lost dad is...WHITE! So, he leaves the gang. The credit roll. Over the credits, they play a song called "Adios Tomorrow".
Oh, and, his cousin celebrated her 15th birthday presentation and the band that plays wear shiny blue spandex covered in sequins. While the gang members disco.
Best. Movie. Ever.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Fall. At last.

The past three days have absolutely proven that is now fall. YAY! I love it. The colours, the leaves, (canadian) Thanksgiving, the halloween candy...the crazed retail ramp up for Christmas...wait...I AM NOT INVOLVED THIS YEAR!!! I love THIS fall!

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